szwirnermeyer

To The Women Who Came Before Me

One of the trickiest things about writing this blog is being sure to protect the privacy and integrity of the people about whom I tell stories. I would publish blog entries daily if I could somehow figure out how to do it anonymously (and if I had a live-in nanny and driver who could shaveContinue reading “To The Women Who Came Before Me”

Maverick Douglas

Our son will be baptized today on the altar at the church where my father’s walnut-colored casket rested during his funeral mass so long ago. Maverick Douglas carries the middle name of his grandfather who has been gone for nearly seventeen years now. My father has never met any of his grandchildren. He was notContinue reading “Maverick Douglas”

Our Next Stage

My wedding ring still doesn’t fit. My c-section incision scar burns from time to time. I have approximately zero professional outfits which fit and have been trying to figure out how to make flannel shirts and leggings look business-casual. And. There is a sixteen pound little-big boy who has captured my heart, my hands, andContinue reading “Our Next Stage”

Me and Mr. Boogitty

The absolute only thing that made me equally as anxious about being a new mother as my God-forsaken breastfeeding drama was the continuous struggle to master all of the baby gear and equipment. The morning we were leaving the hospital to take our daughter home for the first time in the fifty dollar Etsy outfitContinue reading “Me and Mr. Boogitty”

Polyester and Shame

Mark Meyer and I went to a wedding last night and I had a fantastic time. And then we went to Kensington this morning and I figured out why. When the invitation originally came in the mail for the wedding a few months back, I anxiously calculated how many months post-partum I would be, wonderedContinue reading “Polyester and Shame”

A New Season

I emptied out the contents of my hospital bag today. There’s snow on the ground. My son was born in early July. I pulled out the giant maxi pads they sent home with me and threw them in my bedroom garbage can. I folded floral nursing nightgowns and placed them gently in a donation bagContinue reading “A New Season”

There’s a Tie In our Drying Rack

I was listening to a well-known motherhood podcast the other day while driving and one celebrity mom said to the celebrity guest whom she was interviewing, “Tell them about the first time we met! It was at The Seinfelds’ house (Yes. Jerry.) and…” I got distracted and thought to myself, “The Seinfelds are probably lovelyContinue reading “There’s a Tie In our Drying Rack”

Checking the Boxes

When I was 11 years old, my mom ran an in-home daycare. It was the 90’s and no one was checking to make sure she was following a curriculum of any sorts or serving organic snacks, so it was assumed that since I was the oldest, it would be my job to entertain my youngerContinue reading “Checking the Boxes”